where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
