The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
