Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
