there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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