It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
