It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
