he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
