Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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