JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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