The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
