is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
