Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ladies don't puke and tell
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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