Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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