One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
