I have demons in me.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
