I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Randomize
