New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
When are your genitals available?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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