i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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