And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
