Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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