Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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