Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
