Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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