Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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