omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
