She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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