just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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