Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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