the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i will never coherently bang her
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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