Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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