I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
