i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
