I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
