I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
