apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
