If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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