Whod you bang
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
