But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
