I must be too annoying 4 u.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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