Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
