Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
