I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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