marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
