New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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