5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
