getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
