i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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