you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
