The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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