What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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